Taking Public Pride In Your Pathology

When an unrepentant cheapskate’s rationalizations begin exuding a whiff of paranoia:

Paranoid Cheapskate Goes To The Drive-In

I found this amazingly literate post on the public page of a particular drive-in movie theater’s Facebook page, under its reviews section. Out of the hundreds of customer ratings and reviews for the establishment, this was one of three or four negatives I found.

Some negative, eh?

Maybe the user profile’s an alias. Perhaps it’s someone using their actual name and photograph as they boast about their bad behavior. Either way, I don’t intend to publicize this user’s identity, so I crudely redacted it for this post.

If it was the user’s actual name and face attached to the public post, how smart is that, ID’ing yourself to hometown area theater and restaurant owners as not only a habitual cheat and petty thief, but one who boasts about it on social media?

While I can understand not wanting to patronize a movie theater’s concession stand because you don’t care to pay its prices, personally, I’d draw the line at sneaking in my own food. Not because it’s illegal– it’s not, it’s just one of the establishment’s rules, which they have every legal right to throw you out for if you’re caught breaking it– but because I consider it sneaky and obnoxious.

And also because I understand that movie theaters, whether indoors or outdoors, rely primarily on profits from their concessions to pay their bills and keep the place operating.

Studios and distributors don’t loan these theaters films free of charge. Utility companies don’t provide the theater with water and electricity for free, nor do their food and beverage suppliers provide them with free goods. I’m willing to bet most of the theaters’ employees don’t work for free, either. There is such a thing out there as inflation, the increase of prices over time due to all sorts of external factors, over which the owner of the business has no control.

But it’s easier to overlook such considerations when you’re an ill-informed, selfish twit who expects to receive their 2018 goods and services– “And I also sneak into a 2nd or third movie. Noway do I only see one. You charge me 10$ or 15 $ a person. I will see 2-3 movies.” –at prices from, say, 1999…


…or, if you’re really pissed off at the multiplex owners, 1984. Regardless of one’s bitter, self-righteous indignation, such behavior still qualifies as theft

Interesting how the cheapskate condemns the business owners as ‘Greedy Bastards‘ perpetrating a ‘get rich sceem‘ (sic), when those business owners are, at least, providing goods and services, while the cheapskate/thief provides…what, exactly?…apart from further incentive for the business owners to raise their costs on honest/actual customers?

But at least the cheapskate/thief didn’t let anyone “f*ck” them over, eh?

Nearly twenty-one years ago, I accompanied my dad and his wife to a multiplex screening of Titanic, which she really wanted to see. The theater was packed, of course, the film being only two or three weeks into its release. There only appeared to be two empty seats available side-by-side, so I had to seat myself separately from my dad and his wife.

I’d bought my own ticket for Titanic, but walked out of the movie after forty minutes or so, mainly because I didn’t find the characters or their motivations compelling enough to warrant further attention, but also because there were other movies at the multiplex I was really keen to see, particularly Wag The Dog.

So I bought a ticket to that movie, sat through its entirety…then returned to the first theater just in time to catch the last forty or so minutes of Titanic.

Basically, I returned to watch the ship sink. 

Now, if I’d been a resentful cheapskate/thief with an aggressive sense of entitlement, I would have snuck into Wag The Dog without paying, then bragged about it later to anyone who’d listen. But that’s not who I am. I paid for admission to both screenings. As it turned out, nobody working at the multiplex that afternoon noticed my theater-hopping, but I felt better about myself, regardless, for having the done the correct thing.

My dad’s wife was appalled, though, that I’d rejected the romantic plotline of Titanic so thoroughly that I literally left the theater to watch a different movie. Her expression of stunned disbelief, upon realizing that we shared different tastes in film, still amuses me.