Kiana’s Rule

Why I Stopped Ordering Hats Online

The bill's too long. The crown is flat and misshapen. The logo is poorly embroidered and in a different font than the one shown in the photo.

When Everyone’s A Film Critic, No One Is.

My desire to pursue a career in film criticism ended during high school, when I realized I'd be required to watch a lot of movies that didn't remotely appeal to me. Such an occupation sounded positively awful.

My Eighties Adolescence: Determination

Like a fool, I hadn’t worn socks to the meet that day. The resulting blisters under each of my big toe joints had popped and begun bleeding heavily as successive layers of skin were worn away during the race.

My Eighties Adolescence: “Help! Help! I’m Being Oppressed!”

Now that a significant amount of time has passed, especially since I've become a parent, I’ve reflected back on that incident a few times and asked myself what, if any, lesson I took away from it. What I realized, even during my teenage years, was not to strike bargains, deals, compromises, etc., hastily. Think things through before giving your word to someone.

My Seventies Childhood: Beware Of Grown-Ups With Rope

Call it twisted, sadistic, thoughtless, or extreme, but it succeeded in convincing us that we had no idea what in the hell we were talking about.

Sidewinder’s View: Rambo: Last Blood (2019)

The film has a very simple plot, with minimal character development and abbreviated storytelling, all leading up to an extremely over-the-top and gory finale...which is exactly what I expected. I got exactly the movie I paid to see.